Thursday, May 13, 2010

Kon & Amir's TERRIBLE List of the '50 Greatest Samples'

I'm not too big on lists, which is why I'd never even attempt to come up with what Complex just posted on their site. They commissioned Kon & Amir to conjure up some sort of definitive 'greatest samples' list. This one had "fail just waiting to happen" written all over it. For what it's worth it's a commendable effort, no doubt, with lots of great history and great music. But they let quite a few classics slip through the cracks. Way too many if you ask me. And if you ask me, I'd like to think that my resume speaks for itself, so I'll speak on it, kay?

In an effort to simplify things, I've recreated the list in text form below. In order to do this I had to click onto a new Complex page 50 times. In case you're too bored to do that yourself or, like me, you wanna dwindle Complex's optimal ad revenue as much as you can (I keed, I keed), check it out:
50 David Axelrod - Holy Thursday
49 Les Demerle - A Day in the Life
48 Clyde McPhatter - Mixed Up Cup
47 The J.B.'s - The Grunt
46 Bob Azzam - Rain Rain Away
45 Richard Popcorn Whylie - Both Ends Against the Middle
44 Monty Alexander - Love and Happiness
43 David Axelrod - A Divine Image
42 Brian Bennett - Solstice
41 Placebo - Humpty Dumpty
40 David McCullum - The Edge
39 Brethren - Outside Love
38 Eugene McDaniels - Jagger the Dagger
37 Third Guitar - Baby Don't Cry
36 Billy Garner - I Got Some
35 Heath Bros. - Smilin' Billy Suite Pt. II
34 Billy Brooks - Forty Days
33 Jack Wilkins - Red Clay
32 Gwen McCrae - 90% of Me is You
31 Weldon Irvine - We Gettin' Down
30 Tom Scott - Today
29 24 Carat Black - Ghetto: Misfortune's Wealth
28 Minnie Riperton - Inside My Love
27 Ray Bryant - Up Above the Rock
26 Ronnie Foster - Mystic Brew
25 Kool and the Gang - Who's Gonna Take the Weight
24 Bernard Wright - Haboglabotriben
23 Manzel - Space Funk
22 James Brown - Mind Power
21 The Meters - Look-ka Py Py
20 The J.B.'s - Pass the Peas
19 Isaac Hayes - Walk on By
18 Bill Doggett - Honky Tonk Popcorn
17 Thunder and Lightnin' - Bumpin' Bus Stop
16 Cymande - The Message
15 Kool and the Gang - Let the Music Take Your Mind
14 Kid Dynamite - Uphill Peace of Mind
13 Babe Ruth - Mexican
12 The Ohio Players - Funky Worm
11 Foster Sylvers - Misdemeanor
10 Kool and the Gang - Chocolate Buttermilk
9 Maceo & the Macks - Soul Power '74
8 The Meters - Cardova
7 James Brown - Funky President
6 Manzel - Midnight Theme
5 Isaac Hayes - Hyperbolicsyllabicsesquedalymistic
4 James Brown - Give It Up or Turnit a Loose (Remix)
3 Skull Snaps - It's a New Day
2 Melvin Bliss - Synthetic Substitution
1 The Honey Drippers - Impeach the President
Decent list, right? Ehhhhhh..... Please explain to me why the following classics are nowhere to be found (exclamation points have been liberally added to denote my fury for not seeing them on the list above):
Aerosmith – Walk This Way
Ahmad Jamal - Swahililand(!!)
Audio Two - Top Billin'(!!!)
Average White Band - School Boy Crush(!!!!)
B.T. Express - If It Don't Turn You On (You Ought to Leave It Alone)
Baby Huey - Hard Times(!!!!!)
Barry White - Mellow Mood, Pt. I(!!!)
Billy Squier – The Big Beat
Bob James - Nautilus(!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Bob James - Take Me to the Mardi Gras(!!!!!!!!)
Bobby Byrd - Hot Pants (I'm Coming, I'm Coming, I'm Coming)(!!!!!!!!!)
Captain Sky – Super Sperm
David Bowie - Fame(!!!!)
David Porter - I'm Afraid the Masquerade is Over(!!)
Dexter Wansel – Theme from the Planets
Dyke & The Blazers - Let a Woman Be a Woman, Let a Man Be a Man(!!!!!!)
Fred Wesley & The J.B.'s - Blow Your Head(!!!!!!)
Funkadelic - Good Ole Music(!!!!!!)
Funkadelic - Knot Just (Knee Deep)(!!!!!!!)
George Clinton - Atomic Dog(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Idris Muhammad - Crab Apple
Incredible Bongo Band - Apache(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
James Brown - Funky Drummer(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
James Brown - Say It Loud (I'm Black and I'm Proud)(!!!!!!!!!)
Jimmy Castor Bunch - It's Just Begun
Joe Cocker - Woman to Woman(!!)
Joe Tex – Papa Was Too (Live)(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Kool And The Gang – N.T.(!!!!!)
Little Feat - Fool Yourself(!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Lonnie Liston Smith - Spinning Wheel
Lou Donalson – Ode to Billy Joe(!!!)
Lowell Fulsom – Tramp(!!!!!!!!!!!)
Lyn Collins - Think (About It)(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Malcolm McLaren - Buffalo Gals(!!!!!!!)
Malcolm McLaren - Hobo(!!!!!!!!)
Marva Whitney - It's My Thing(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Michael Jackson - Ain't No Sunshine(!)
Michael Jackson - Human Nature
Mountain - Long Red (Live)(!!!!!!!)
Ohio Players - Ecstasy(!!!!)
Parliament - Aquaboogie (A Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop)(!!)
Parliament - Flashlight(!!!!!)
Power of Zeus – The Sorcerer of Isis
Rick James - Mary Jane(!!!!!!!!)
Ronnie Hudson - West Coast Poplock(!!!!!!!!)
Rotary Connection - Memory Band
Rufus Thomas – Do the Funky Penguin(!!!!)
Slick Rick & Doug E Fresh - La-Di-Da-Di(!!!!!!!)
Sly & The Family Stone – Sing a Simple Song(!!!!)
Steve Miller Band - Fly Like An Eagle(!!!)
Steve Miller Band - Take the Money and Run(!!!!!!!!!)
Stevie Wonder - Pastime Paradise
Syl Johnson - Different Strokes(!!)
Teddy Pendergrass - Love T.K.O.(!!!)
The Blackbyrds - Rock Creek Park
The Commodores - Assembly Line(!!!)
The Dramatics - Get Up & Get Down
The Emotions - Blind Alley(!!)
The Emotions - I Like It(!!!)
The Fatback Band - Backstrokin'(!!!!)
The Five Stairsteps - Don't Change Your Love(!)
The Isley Brothers - Between the Sheets(!!!!!!!)
The J.B.'s - Gimme Some More
The Meters - Rigor Mortis(!!!!)
The Mohawks - The Champ(!!!!!!!!!!!!)
The O'Jays - Cry Together
The Soul Children - I Don't Know What This World Is Coming To (Jesse Jackson)(!!!!!!!!)
The Soul Searchers – Ashley’s Roachclip
The Trammps - Rubber Band
The Whatnauts - Why Can't People Be Colors Too
The Winstons – Amen Brother(!!!!!!!!!!)
Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
Vaughan Mason & Crew - Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll(!!!!!!!!!)
Willie Hutch - Overture of Foxy Brown(!!!)
Wilson Pickett - Get Me Back on Time, Engine Number 9
Zapp - More Bounce to the Ounce(!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Zapp & Roger - Computer Love(!!!)
Now lemme just point this out: I came up with this list at work. During my lunch break. Uh-huh. Just sayin'...