Friday, June 11, 2010

Ten More Songs That Just Blaze Can Sample (Just to Piss You Off!)

Eminem's recently-leaked soon to be released album, Recovery, has been getting its fair share of spins at the ol' Casa de Ivan not because I particularly like it, more so because I'm still trying to figure it out. It just doesn't feel like an Eminem record. It's not enough to say that it's missing Dina Rae on track 13. The southern-ish production on the record raises an eyebrow, as do the features, boasting the likes of Kobe, Pink and Rihanna. "No Love", the Just Blaze-produced single-to-be (just a guess), has also been a topic of discussion due to the track's, um, "eclectic" sample. Just Blaze had the cojones to toy around with "What is Love", a popular 90s club track by the Trinidadian singer Haddaway. You might remember the song best from the 1998 film A Night at the Roxbury. The first thing that came to mind when I heard "No Love" was the image of Eminem and Lil Wayne riding in a car bopping their heads left and right to the music - a pause-worthy scene to say the least.

A lot of people have been giving Just Blaze some flak for the sample. It's understandable. But hey, at the same time, the record is kinda hot. And if you know anything about Just Blaze, it's this: he doesn't give a shit what you think. Want proof? Check out his Ustream page when he's live! To add some fuel to the fire, I've come up with a short list of ridiculous songs that Blaze should consider sampling just to piss some more people off. Who knows, Justin - or any other producer who wants to give it a shot - might actually do a good job with them. Here we go:

"This is Your Night" by Amber
Another Night at the Roxbury track, this annoying dance record is a sure shot to get people in the club throwin' them bows - at the DJ! Aim for the throat, please!

"Beautiful Life" by Ace of Base
The opening piano riff here is 100% sample fodder. Everything else about this track makes me want to jump in front of a moving truck.

"Sweet Dreams" by La Bouche
I really hope Annie Lennox got some publishing on this wack ish.

"Believe (Life After Love)" by Cher
If auto-tune killed hip hop, then how much blame can we throw at Cher? Eh, personally I prefer the South Park version.

"Get Ready for This" by Unlimited 2
It's been a favorite at basketball games for as long as I can remember. Lil Jon would go nutso over this one.

"I Like to Move It" by Reel 2 Real
Start... the... reactor!

"The Power" by Snap!
Even if you gave me ten lobotomies, that Jocelyn Brown vocal snippet would still be engrained in my memory.

"We Like to Party" by The Venga Boys
Wanna know why I haven't been to Six Flags Mountain since I was twelve? Look no further. Kreddy Kruger ain't got nothin' on Mr. Six. He haunts my dreams.

"Sadeness (Part I)" by Enigma
Lil Wayne would be perfect for a track that sampled this one since the lyrics are in Latin and French. And after all, who can understand Weezy's Martian language anyways?

"I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
Rick Ross'll be all over this one - unless we stop him! If you took all the "no homos" in the world, they still wouldn't be enough to cover this atrocity.

Thanks for taking this trip down memory lane with me. Now excuse me while I rub out the grime from my skin with steel wool and peroxide. Peace.