Wednesday, June 24, 2009

International Man of Mystery | Politics as Usual

I’ll make this post considerably shorter than the previous one, only because I’ve got less to write on. But I thought it’d be worthwhile to comment on the odd stories that had been percolating and ruminating in the wacky, wonderful world of Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC). What transpired over the weekend has truly been a mystery. Let’s take a brief look at reports we received on Sanford’s whereabouts:

On Thursday, June 18th, a cell phone tower in Atlanta, Georgia picked up a signal from Sanford’s phone. On Friday, Sanford stopped answering his phone completely. On Saturday, the governor’s office issued a statement saying that there was no need for concern. On Sunday, Lieutenant Governor Bauer acknowledged Sanford’s absence. On Monday, all P.R. hell broke loose. Sanford’s wife claimed “he was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kid.” Keep in mind that this was Father's Day! The governor’s office claimed Sanford was “taking some time away from the office this week to recharge after the stimulus battle.” The Lieutenant Governor claimed to have spoken to Sanford. Sanford’s spokesman Joel Sawyer denied these claims. Bauer oddly retracted the statement. The governor’s office issued a statement claiming that Sanford was “hiking on the Appalachian trail” (for four days?!!?). On Tuesday, Sanford called in to his office, stating that he’ll get back to work on Wednesday (today). The governor’s office still stood by the Appalachian trail story at the time. At the end of the day, Sanford’s automobile was tracked down to the location of the Columbia Metropolitan Airport in South Carolina. Early Wednesday morning, Sanford arrived at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta via Buenos Aires, Argentina (my homecity/hometown).

First of all: what the fuck?

Why would the governor’s office need to lie? Above all, why would they fabricate such a preposterously suspect lie? Who goes hiking for over half a week? Why did the governor feel the need to secretly run off to Argentina? What was he doing there? Why didn’t he tell anyone he was going there? Why did he assume that no one would wonder where he was?

It all seems very, very fishy to me.

To top it all off, Argentina’s legislative elections will be held this coming Sunday. I’m not pointing any fingers. Yet. But I am raising my eyebrows. After it's all said and done, maybe he was just flying down to ARG to get some tail.

Update: Turns out Sanford was trying to get some tail, just as I had foreseen. They (still) don't call me the prophet for nothin'! Heh.