Sunday, August 8, 2010

Random Shit That Pisses Me Off (a.k.a. All I Need is One Paragraph)



"In the bullshit department..." © George Carlin

What's up with all these rap blogs joining the Complex "network." It's bad enough I've got a problem with all those annoying bars on the bottom of websites, but this shit? Nah. I still fux with The Smoking Section and a few other sites that are down with Uproxx. And for what it's worth, Compex is a decent site - though their "click on our site 50 times to view our 'Top 50 _____' list" schtick is beyond abhorrent. Really doe, other than maximizing web stats - which apparently is the life blood for some of these folks/sites - what's up with dillz-riding Complex? Even worse, it pisses me off to no end when said rap blogs dedicate entire posts to Complex articles. No shots? Yes shots! Whateva Man © Redman. That shit's almost as flagrant as dedicating entire posts to Kanye West's brief appearance on Ustream a few days back - something nearly every rap blog did. How lame is that? As if this cat's ego didn't need to be inflamed some more... About a week ago, I went to see this flick Dinner for Schmucks. Steve Carell knocked it out the park, as expected. But one of the funniest characters in the film was this guy Kieran played by Jemaine Clement. Watch Dinner for Schmucks. Kanye West is the rap version of Kieran, I swear. In the film, Kieran's got these ridiculously tacky, animalized, overtly sexual self-portraits - a practice in narcissism. This character immediately made me think of Kanye, which is ironic and damn near prescient since just a few days later, 'Ye released his 'Portrait of Power.' Kanye's self-worshipping pseudo-artsiness is unacceptable at this point. But I guess anything can pass as art these days right? How about The Source handing Bun B the coveted 5 Mic rating? Ain't that some shit? Lemme get this straight: according to The Sauce, Trill O.G. and The Naked Truth are the best rap albums of the past nine years? C'mon, son. iFuxwit Bun B, but on the real, Trill O.G. isn't even the best album in the Trill-ogy. Do you understand what this means? Gucci Mane, Trey Songz and Yo Gotti are on a 5 Mic album. Fall the fuck back! Best believe 'Pac's rolling in his grave Cuba right now. Even Pimp C's up in hip hop heaven right now, getting blown by a trio of angels and shaking his head at this nutfuckery. And what's with Raekwon re-releasing Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...II? Now here's a sad state of affairs. This record's only been out for a year? Gold Edition? More like fool's gold. Who's gonna shell out some cash for a record they bought a year ago, now featuring a shitty cover that, as Bosnaud would put it, looks like someone just learned about the emboss effect on Photoshop. If this isn't a lame attempt at turning a little - emphasis on little - profit, then what is? I've gotta say, I miss the old Raekwon. You know, the kind of Raekwon that wouldn't be all on Twitter all day long, hyping his and CNN's projects on some Don King shit. Twitter killed the mystique I had about Rae. Featured artists on OB4CLII² include Travis Barker and Game. I give up. I'm not buying this shit. Literally. But of course, the biggest sack of bullshit that hit the news this week was Wyclef Jean's decision to run for president. Word? Homie can't even keep The Fugees together, how the fuck is he gonna maintain one of the poorest and least-developed countries in the world. 'Clef is in way over his head. The PWNage dealt to him by Sean Penn just about sums it up. Hitotsu.